Paris Paloma’s “the warmth” hits you like an echo from another time. Slow crawling with hypnotic strings swimming in echoing harmonies, each flourish is haunting and medieval, a testament to Paloma’s timeless songwriting. History be damned, however, since to her fans, Paloma’s moment is now — a sentiment they, as the singer-songwriter, took the stage at New York City’s Bowery Ballroom for her first US tour.

Sitting in the balcony a few hours before the show begins, I tell her about the fans already waiting for her outside. Dressed in boho chic floor-grazing dresses and lace, a cult-like queue was clearly hoping to get in early and press themselves up against the stage, regardless of the scorching temperatures outside. Paloma is immediately worried about her congregants, wondering if she should instate a no-queuing policy in hopes of keeping them hydrated and safe from fainting during the show. But according to the story she beams as our interview begins, they’re pretty keen to get close to Paloma.

“We had soundcheck around 4 PM and I saw these two girls walking in, and they both had on flowy white skirts,” she laughs. “They’re so sweet, they were not slick. They saw me, they saw the empty room, then they just snuck into the stairwell.” A manager had to politely ask them to leave, though it was clear they were just trying to stake their claim at the front of the stage. Later, as she sings her viral-track-cum-accidental-anthem-for-women’s-rights, “Labour,” and they sing the words, “You make me do too much labor” in unison, the looks on their faces hint at the risk being worth it.

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Sitting beside PAPER, in an empty pre-show venue, Paloma is in jeans and a t-shirt, a stark contrast to the sheer white billowy dress she’ll be donning on stage. As we chat, her demeanor is meek and giggly, a stark contrast to the big, bright voice I’ll be hearing as it bounces off the walls of the Bowery later that night. The track was released in March of 2023 but has since gone viral again, when Harrison Butker, kicker for the Kansas City Chiefs, made misogynistic remarks (i.e., women should be more excited about marriage and babies than careers, etc.) during a commencement speech.

“Having it take on this second life was so needed for me,” Paloma says. “No one prepares you for that level of virality and visibility online. When it happened the second time, I felt more equipped and had the stability to meet my fans where they’re coming from. The first time it was such an overwhelming feeling. The second time I could appreciate it while it was happening.” The track has created an impassioned response online, reaching 100 million streams on Spotify and soundtracking countless TikTok videos with captions like “oldest daughter,” “mommy issues” and “all day everyday therapist.”

“I’m not really good at diagnosing what people like about my music,” Paloma says when I ask why she thinks the song is resonating with so many people. “I don’t like to think too hard about it. Some people say it’s because of its simplicity. People can find what they need to find in it. There are people who have experiences I’ve never had that are using the song, which is so wonderful. They’re using it to explain their experience. The timing when it came out was also important. It wasn’t intentional but it was at a time when the discussion of the labor balance in relationships was becoming more and more discussed.” Now, playing it live, she gets to thank her fans in real time for the song’s success, likening this to “falling and knowing someone is going to catch you.”

Much of the connection Paloma has with fans — particularly US fans who are seeing her for the first time during this tour — has happened online (she even released a version of “Labour” featuring more than 100 vocals from fans). However, there have been times when the message she sends out doesn’t quite reach the audience she intends to hear it. “There was a moment when transphobes were having a moment on social media when they were attempting to use ‘Labour.’ Luckily my listeners know that’s not something I stand by, that I would crush as soon as possible, and all my trans followers know that.”

On August 30, Paloma will be releasing her debut album Cacophony, and she’s been teasing some of tracks during her live performances. “I keep forgetting that aren’t singles that people aren’t familiar with. There’s always a degree of curiosity when you’re releasing new music. Seeing what people may identify with and whether they’ll take what you were feeling when you wrote the song or if it will be some other exciting thing.”

Paloma has been working on her debut for the last two years, so it took piecing together the story that was “already there” to decide which tracks would make the cut and in what order.

“It’s almost like therapy,” she says. “The story is already there you’re just seeing what it means to yourself and by extension, other people.” Speaking of therapy and vulnerability, I wonder: Are any tracks she’s nervous to share with the world, after having it to herself for so long? “There’s a song called ‘Pleaser’ on the album that I produced myself,” she says. “There’s a degree of nerves because I’ve worked with so many amazing producers and this is the one I worked on by myself with my own production techniques. I had no budget and made it from my [university] room. I wanted to do that as a nod to where I started. ‘Pleaser’ is also a song written at a sad time in my life, and looking back on it with a lot more self-awareness is funny. It’s about feeling like you’re perpetually giving more and loving more in relationships and never having your cup filled by people you choose to love. Looking back on it, I would say it has everything to do with who I was choosing to pursue friendships and relationships with. That comes from not knowing yourself very well.”

Listeners of Cacophony will be able to hear the stories behind Paloma’s first two years of adulthood; right before she got “out of the woods,” she tells me of some things she was working through regarding her life and mental health. “It’s not linear,” she adds. “It’s going to continue going and there will be new difficulties, I’m sure. But this is a story about my mental growth and working through things that happened in my teens and young adulthood and the grief and pain and immense self-questioning that we start with. It kind of follows the hero’s journey and reaches a place of hope, acceptance, and warmth at the end.”

As city sirens echo outside the window and our interview runs to a close, I ask her how she hopes people feel when they hear her debut. “I want people to feel held,” she says. I” think that music’s purpose is to sit with people in their loneliness, in those emotions that make you feel isolated and unheard. But when you listen to music you’re being held by another person. That’s the point.”

Photography: Erica Snyder

I’m huddled with MUNA against the side of Pitchfork’s red stage, convened around a small plastic picnic table. Chicago’s summer heat is sweltering and the ambient thrash of Model/Actriz playing mere feet away isn’t instilling a calm vibe. Plus, President Joe Biden has just announced he would not be running for re-election just a few hours prior. There’s a lot of chaos that could have made this Pitchfork fest feel like a chaotic riot, but somehow, MUNA and I are suspiciously calm.

I get the sense that MUNA isn’t really phased by much. The band — comprised of singer Katie Gavin, guitarist Naomi McPherson, and guitarist and synth-wiz, Josette Maskin — has been making music for 10 years together. Throughout that time they encountered their fair share of what Maskin calls “little failures.” But these days, those obstacles are looking miniscule when compared to the gargantuan success they’ve seen since signing to Phoebe Bridgers’s Secretly Canadian imprint Saddest Factory Records and releasing a self-titled album which includes the still-ubiquitous summer siren call, “Silk Chiffon.”

It couldn’t have been any other way. Before their self-titled album they were signed to RCA for two records. Those projects helped the band gain a buzzy, queer following, but they didn’t necessarily align with the mega-scale of a major label framework. Working with Bridgers, a major indie mover, allowed them to build things from the ground up. And build they did. Since they released MUNA two years ago, the band has been constantly on tour, including a support slot of Taylor Swift’s record-breaking Eras Tour and two nights in Los Angeles’ Greek Theater, a performance which has been etched in stone through MUNA’s most recent release, Live at the Greek Theatre in Los Angeles.

In the end, they probably did end up reaching the level of mainstream notoriety a major label would pine for, but doing it indie allowed MUNA to have more control and foster a deep, enduring relationship with their audience. “Once you get to a certain point, it’s not in your control how big something gets,” Gavin tells me. “So I’m very grateful that even at the end, playing two shows at the Greek, it still felt like our people.” “Those people,” the MUNA fans, understand the band better than most fans do. They have a uniquely large amount of access points to the trio — be it via their irreverent podcast, Gayotic, where the three talk off the cuff about their lives as queer artists or via their ever-humming online lives.

Their fans especially can appreciate the significance of MUNA playing Pitchfork fest. The band received a 7.7 score for their sophomore album, Saves The World, a score artist Shamir noted as being the “essential gay listening’ bat signal” (other members of the 7.7 club include Charli XCX’s how i’m feeling now, Lana Del Rey’s Blue Bannister’s, and Mitski’s Bury Me at Makeout Creek). 7.7 is not nothing, but the band was “sure they’d get Best New Music [with their next record, MUNA],” as Gavin told me. Well, MUNA did get an improved score … of 7.8. They took it all in stride, though and even got that sacred 7.7 as matching tattoos. But regardless of Pitchfork’s scoring, when it was later time for MUNA to take the stage, they performed for an ocean of people in Union Park, many of whom seemed to be tried and true MUNA fans, a rare feat at a busy music festival where folks are coming for all sorts of acts.

Well, PAPER is thrilled to announce some good news for those fans: the band is wrapping up their busy two years of touring MUNA and are preparing to get in the studio to finally “cook.” I smell good things.

PAPER chatted with the band before they took the Pitchfork stage to talk about this wild ride of an album cycle, Katie Gavin’s forthcoming solo record and maintaining a healthy friendship with each other through the chaos of the industry.

Super excited to talk with you! I love MUNA and I know PAPER loves Muna.

Naomi McPherson: Justin [Moran, PAPER’s editor-in-chief] knows how much of a real one he is.

Katie Gavin: Justin was working for BULLETT magazine and he was the first person ever to write about us, so I feel a kinship with PAPER.

That’s wild! I’ve been an active fan since Saves The World, so to see the ascent has felt crazy. We’re two years out from your last record, MUNA, and you just put out your live record from your two performances at The Greek. Was that live record a way of putting a pin on this very crazy era?

McPherson: I think that we did see that as a way to wrap up this album cycle, which lasted longer than we could have possibly imagined. For the Saves The World tour we did in the fall of 2019, when we finished that, we were with our old label, and were like, “We’re not going to tour that record again.” We loved our A&R guy at RCA and never want it to seem like we’re talking shit on them, because we’re not. But we were trying to move on, because there was not enough support behind the album. It wasn’t breaking through to enable us to have a sustained touring career. With this album, we’re still touring it two years later. We achieved a lot of what we wanted to achieve, and knocked a lot of the things off the manifestation list. So it’s time to make a new one, right?

Josette Maskin: We’re gonna turn the page and see what’s next. Which I think is something that we all really like. We obviously love playing live shows, but I think we’re all super creative people, and the concept and the genesis of everything is our bread and butter. So it will be interesting now that we have the time to actually cook. We need to cook for a minute.

Gavin: Something I’m grateful for with that cycle is I think a lot of times in this day and age people are able to have a sense before [success], so they can have a chance to be ready. And I do actually think looking back we were ready [for this success].

Maskin: We were ready, and that’s the most amazing part. We wouldn’t have been able to perform as well on those stages if we hadn’t had all those little failures before.

Gavin: We’ve been grinding. We’ve been cutting our teeth out on the road, and I don’t think that it got to a level that was beyond what we could handle and that’s out of your control. Once you get to a certain point, it’s not in your control with how big something gets. So I’m very grateful that even at the end, playing two shows at the Greek, it still felt like our people and it wasn’t traumatizing.

I think you guys have also done a really good job of maintaining a very close relationship with your audience through the podcast. So I’m curious about how you’re thinking about those extra-musical endeavors?

Maskin: It’s so funny because our manager during the pandemic was like, “Maybe you could have this other way to make money? You need to do something.”

McPherson: We had considered doing podcasts or YouTube series before, because we do have interests outside of music, and when we did press around our first two albums [we felt] that people didn’t really know us, because the music really is so intense, dark and serious. That is a pretty big aspect of who we are as people. But it’s definitely not the only thing that you get from us when you interact with us. We have big personalities and we’re hams and we like to joke and laugh around. So it was a nice way for us to be able to showcase our personalities.

Maskin: You’re selling a product. And, I mean, the product is us. Like, even with music, it’s true. [The band laughs.]

Headline!

Maskin: Yeah, “MUNA: capitalist pigs.” But I mean, it is just true. You need to show people what you’re about, because what else is going to get them invested in you? [You need something] more than [people saying], “Oh, I streamed their song on Spotify. I don’t care about going to shows.” We have active relationships [with our fans].

Gavin: Having the podcast be us talking to each other allows people [to see] behind the curtain in a way that I think is humanizing. I feel like our fans give us space to complain about things that are hard.

McPherson: It’s silly, goofy, but it’s also serious sometimes. We do talk about class-related stuff, and our experience as musicians.

Gavin: And just the troubles of working all the time, and what it really is like to have a career in music. So that’s been nice to feel like we don’t have to put up a front to “be” MUNA.

McPherson: There are people who listen to the podcast and do not enjoy or listen to our music. And there are people who love our music, who probably hate the podcast.

That’s trippy. Y’all are diversified!

Maskin: Yeah, all of our revenue streams [laughs].

Given the podcast and how public you are with your relationship as bandmates, how do you maintain some privacy in this working friendship?

Maskin: We’re working on that. We’re talking about stuff [on the podcast], but I think we’re trying to not share as much …

Gavin: You guys are trying to get me to not share as much.

Maskin: I don’t care what you do. I need to keep some secrets about myself!

Mcpherson: We started the podcast and thought No one is ever going to listen, so we were gonna talk about whatever we want and who cares? And now it’s like, “God, what have we done?”

Gavin [quietly singing “Pink Pony Club” by Chappelle Roan]: “God what have we done?”

Mcpherson: Yeah, my mom will text me like, “I watched the episode that you did with so and so.” So I’m like, “I thought you didn’t listen to this? Now I need to change my whole energy, because I thought I was talking to my friends?”

Gavin: We’re about to go into a period of time where we have more time blocked up for us to be in the studio together. I think that is going to make a big difference because most of the time, we hang out when it’s being recorded for the podcast.

Maskin: I mean everyone’s just busy doing their shit. [Katie’s] putting out a record. I’m trying to stay at my house as much as possible.

Yeah, Katie, I’m excited about your solo project!

Mcpherson: So there’s huge tensions… [laughs]

Yeah, I was thinking “This is obviously exciting and you are all seemingly fine.” But stereotypically, “going solo” is a “problem” in bands.

Maskin: We’re gonna break up for sure.

Mcpherson: We’re gonna break up before she puts it out, maybe a day before …

Gavin: I feel like we should leave it ambiguous to fan the flames of PR.

Mcpherson: And then next cycle … you’re totally right. We need to save this toxic energy. We need to bottle it.

Gavin: So people can put together a narrative.

Mcpherson: Katie was forced to make a solo album because we said no to too many of her songs.

I mean that just makes sense when you’re creating in a group.

Gavin: There were just too many songs that weren’t for the MUNA world, but I still wanted them to be out. That’s just how I am as a creative; I want stuff I write to be released at some point. We originally thought it was going to come out before MUNA, but it just didn’t work out that way. I signed to Phoebe, and she wanted me to go back in with her producer. And so after, we decided we’ll put it out after the third album. So yeah we’ve been knowing about this and we’ve had time to adjust. I also think when you’ve been a band for 10 years, it’s healthy to have side quests and go on other endeavors, so that you can come back and bring that new energy.

Mcpherson: “Side quests.” You can tell how terminally online we are.

I mean me too, so no worries on that. I want to also ask about the Dance Churches. Your fans gathered to dance to your music throughout Pride.

Maskin: [Our team] pitched us the idea and I think the thing that’s so special about MUNA fans is that they actually are in community with each other. So actually having a physical space where people can go connect, make more friends, or connect with the friends that they already have through online chat groups, is so cool. People can actually meet up and start dating and meet somebody who they feel understands them. So it was a deeper way that we can connect [with fans] without us constantly having to tour.

And is this your first time playing Pitchfork?

Mcpherson: Yeah.

Do you have any specific feelings on that? I know Pitchfork looms large in the minds of musicians.

Maskin: They should have given us a higher Pitchfork score, but other than that …

Mcpherson: Pitchfork haunts me in my dreams. [laughs]

Maskin: They did a review and [we got] tattoos for [the score] 7.7 because it was like “the gay ten.”

Mcpherson: We have to give credit where it’s due, the artist Shamir noticed that all these iconic queer artists got 7.7 so we were like, “LOL. Wouldn’t it be hilarious if we got a 7.7 tattoo, because that’s what Saves The World got?” And then they gave us a 7.8 for MUNA, because they are petty.

Gavin: We were so sure we were gonna get Best New Music.

Mcpherson: We were like, “It’s gonna be an 8.”

Maskin: They know they have beef with us even though we’re here.

Gavin: I would go on Pitchfork because I wanted to be cool to the boys in highschool. But I found a lot of music on Pitchfork.com. And we love to “hate” on Pitchfork, but I’d be sad if they went away.

Okay, I know you have to go, but I think the headline is: “MUNA going back to the studio,” right?

Mcpherson: Pray for us!

Photography: Kimberly Ross

On January 19, 2019, singer-songwriter and Vermont native Noah Kahan pressed send on a foreboding tweet: “I prolly won’t sell out Madison Square Garden or even all the shows on my tour but I’ll keep writing songs for you all for as long as you’ll have me,” he wrote. A cool five years later, after James Bay’s opening set, that same tweet is being mirrored on the massive screens that flank the Madison Square Garden stage, as fans file in to watch Kahan play the first of two sold-out shows in one of New York City’s most storied venues.

I’ll always be a fan of the hero story. The idea that you can start your life in a small town with zero evidence that the future you want is possible, and then by some strange twist of fate and faith, boom — you’re living in a three-dimensional version of a fantasy you never thought would come to fruition. I love that story even more when the main character seems in awe and humbled by the magic of the whole experience as if their hard work is only a small part of the manifestation; as if it could’ve happened to anybody, but thankfully, it happened to them. As Kahan walked out on stage that night, throwing a “Holy shit, what’s up?” at the crowd, he almost seemed surprised to see there; it was clear he made the perfect protagonist.

When his song “Stick Season” became a viral success in 2022, there were internet murmurs that he’d come out of nowhere. But, despite being raised in a town of around 1,000 people, he, in fact, had come from somewhere, making it to this literal and figurative stage after years of music-making with two album releases proceeding the success of Stick Season. Still, I can see how people may be shocked that Kahan has reached international sold-out venue status at a time where Americana music (think: banjos, stomp-and-clap, folk stories, me in 2013 going to see Mumford & Sons in an oversized floppy hat and floor length skirt) has been drowned out by bustling new age of pop. I guess there’s just something magnetic and cathartic about songs that are honest, cutting, and at times make you feel “a little bit shitty,” as he told the crowd that Monday night. There’s also something magnetic about seeing someone live out a once tweeted destiny.

Standing at the Garden, facing the center of the stage, I can’t help but be reminded of how rare it is to have a career where you go to MSG to write about songwriters. On my best days, I think I made it all up. On my worst days, I think I made it all up. It’s that same guttural creeping feeling that hit me as Kahan sang the lyrics, “I’m terrified that I might never have met me” during his slow-burner of a track, “Growing Sideways,” in a venue he’d once only dreamed of playing. It’s the gratitude of all the pieces falling into place. It’s the terror of what could’ve happened, would’ve happened — if one piece hadn’t.

So Kahan, with his writing that reminds you of home (like the lyrics about a Target opening in an intersection and the locals immediately labeling that area downtown in “New Perspective”) and pull you back to when everything felt possible (like the optimistic abandon of youth imbuing the words “I’m seventeen again I am not scared of death/ I’ve got dreams again” in “The View Between Villages”) and his self-deprecating humor (like when he likened himself to a youth pastor during a quiet moment on stage, saying “Jesus Christ has rizz”) are all synonymous with the overarching plot that big ambitions pay off, that dreams (as cliché as it sounds) come true.

Before the second night of his MSG two-night stand, Kahan sent another tweet. “The day I wrote [“New Perspective”] was one of the lowest I’ve had as a musician. Just totally defeated by the weight of my low self-esteem and the mountain I had to climb just to put pen to paper. I told myself I was going to quit that same evening. I played it at MSG last night.”

He replied to his own tweet, adding: “It ain’t over even when you think it’s over.”

Photography: Toby Tenenbaum

Adam Lambert has never been this gay. On his new EP AFTERS, out today, the 42-year-old pop star sings about slipping into his lover on “Lube,” gogo-ing and taking it home like a homo on “Wet Dream,” and biting on body parts like an animal on “Neck.” For Lambert, the electro-pop project is more hedonistic and rowdy than ever before.

“This is for me,” he tells PAPER. “It’s my truth, it’s my sound, it’s my lifestyle.” Real ones remember the singer’s revolutionary run on American Idol in 2009 and how he shook the culture by being unabashedly himself. We could recall the Bill O’Reilly smear campaign during Lambert’s run on Idol, or of course, the infamous AMA’s performance that got him banned and almost sued by ABC. The glam rocker was a true trailblazer when it comes to gay male representation in pop culture, and the new music is giving us a taste of that energy tenfold.

Inspired by new love and hosting after parties at his house in LA, the EP is a heatmap of Lambert’s current emotions and desires, a club-ready 150 BPM banger of a project. “I feel like I’ve been around long enough and I’ve worked hard enough where I have every right to write about [this kind of stuff].” It’s Adam at his best and most authentic self.

Below, we sit down with Lambert to discuss American Idol lore, JOMO (the “joy of missing out”), and being kicked out of Lady Gaga’s birthday party.

How are you? Where are you right now?

I’m good. I’m at home in LA in the office. I try to keep it glamorous. It’s the only room I’ve permitted myself to put anything with myself on the wall. When people do that in their house, I’m always like, that’s narcissistic. But in the office, I’m like, I can put the accomplishments on the wall.

And you’ve had some accomplishments. In doing research for this interview, I saw that Trespassing (2012) was the first album by an openly gay artist to debut at No. 1.

And when it happened, I was like, “No way.” I thought it was wrong. I didn’t get it, but then everybody told me it was true, and I was kind of gagged. It’s weird that it took that long, you know?

I guess Elton John just never…

He had No. 1 records when he was still in the closet, I guess. And George Michael and all these people. But then I guess after they came out, they didn’t score number one, which is so weird.

The technicalities of it all.

Yeah, there’s a little fine print on the thing. But yeah, I think it kind of signaled where we were at and that things were quickly shifting. Because it was like, finally, that wasn’t something that would sort of bar you.

Trespassing came out in 2012, and gay marriage was legalized in 2015.

Yeah, that was such a time of quick evolution and change. The conversation was definitely gaining a lot of momentum. A lot changed in only a couple years.

So I was obsessed with American Idol growing up, and I latched onto David Archuleta in Season 7 because he was also a closeted, suppressed little gay boy. Then you came along in Season 8, and you were so exuberant and free. And I think that scared me. I remember not being too into you.

[Laughs] I love that. I shook you a little bit to your core. He makes me nervous!

But this new EP kind of taps into that aura of everything that was surrounding you in that moment. The taboo, the sexuality, the media attention. Did you make that connection?

You know, I’ve been around long enough in the industry where there are these full circle things that happen. And yeah, I do feel like there’s this full circle thing back to that first single in some ways, which was “For Your Entertainment.” I’m an Aquarius. I’ve always been a bit of a contrarian. I’ve always been somebody who likes to take the opposite stance. I like to push the boundaries. I’m a bit rebellious in my spirit. I think that’s naturally who I am. Before I was on American Idol, I was doing theater as a way to pay the bills. But I was definitely out a lot in the nightlife here in LA, and I was dressing up. I was being very free. I was going to Burning Man. I was living this sort of creative freedom lifestyle, and I naturally wanted to bring that into my music.

So I remember when we did that first video for that song, I was like, “This is what I want. This is the first single, because it’s pop and it’s a little dark, it’s a little sexy.” To me, that was my fantasy. That was the kind of pop star I’ve always wanted to be. And so yes, with this [new] stuff, I feel like so much has changed in terms of how an audience gets music. We have a lot more of a direct line to our listeners as music artists. Whereas back in 2009, 2010, radio was the gatekeeper. Radio was in charge of everything. And there were so many people, especially in the middle of the country, that had all sorts of obstacles to morality and representation. There was so much that I didn’t realize that I was going to encounter, and it quickly became apparent that there was not going to be a simple journey of just expressing myself how I felt I wanted to.

Luckily, I had a great publicist when I came out of Idol, and he was really interested in just going for it and that matched how I felt. There were a lot of amazing opportunities to talk about things and to boldly wave a flag, you know, because it felt like it needed to be done. And I was excited to do it. But it was not always easy, and there was definitely pushback. There was definitely fear. Even the people within the industry that were excited for me and supporting me, they didn’t really know what it was that we were dealing with. Whether they were queer or they were allies, people were kind of like, “I guess we should give it a shot, but we don’t really know what’s going to happen. We don’t know how this is going to work.” So lots of trepidation, and then money’s involved, so people start getting nervous. It was a very interesting experience. I learned a lot, and there were a lot of victories within that, but then there were also a lot of setbacks. So it was an experience that was very up and down.

I was watching old interviews of you from that time, and everyone was so old school but you were so ahead and so free. It’s almost like you outgrew American Idol before you even got on it.

It was weird. It was this catch 22 sort of experience. On one hand, because I had been on a show that was so popular and there were 30 million people watching it weekly, I had this shortcut to a mainstream platform. But because that was the audience we had built, because it was a TV audience, when I came out and wanted to do the pop star thing a lot of those die hard American Idol Midwesterners didn’t know what they were signing up for. That was what happened with that first single.

I’m so grateful, because right around that same time, we had someone like [Lady] Gaga, who was so cool and so brilliant, and she was able to be a really vocal ally. But it was a lot easier for her because she was a cis woman. I was always so grateful that there was somebody else in the scene that was going for it. I mean, she was going to rallies for gay marriage, and she had a platform and a lot more freedom within the mainstream. You didn’t have TV shows getting nervous and not wanting to book her because of it. She was this bridge. As a gay community, we’ve had a history of pop stars that were female that were able to be that bridge for us, but not the males, really. At that point, I hadn’t really seen it. I remember growing up in the ’90s and seeing George Michael basically canceled for what happened to him. He was still able to make music, and he was still sort of loved in the UK, but in the US, it was like he got chopped at the knee for what happened. And that’s the generation I was coming out of.

So I was really into being bold about it, but I felt like what would then happen was, as far as the art I was making, the music and the videos and all that, I felt like, because there was money from a major label behind it, they got very involved in the creative and were trying to keep it on this certain path that they felt would allow it to be successful. So it was challenging, because it was a lot of compromise. A lot more than I really wanted. But at the end of the day, the thing that kept me playing the game and playing along and willing to compromise was that I was like, “Well, I don’t see another way to stay in the game right now.” It was this obstacle course I was on. And at the end of the day, the most important thing for me is to have a career. I wanted success, you know? I was like, “f this is the best it can be right now for me, if it can just be me talking about it in interviews, then that’s enough for right now.” At least something’s happening. At least I’m representing the community somehow.

Obama had just been inaugurated when your season started.

Yeah, there was so much change happening.

But what strikes me is that everyone on Fox News was going in on you, all the parents were so angry, but when you were asked about it, you were just like, “Yeah, whatever!” So blase and open about it. Some true trailblazer shit.

Thanks for saying it. There have been moments over the past decade where I’ve been like, “I hope it was worth it,” because it was for me. I feel a sense of accomplishment and pride when it comes to looking back and realizing how different it was. Being a part of that wave was very cool. And what makes it so exciting is to see the change now. To see this revolution of gender, and all the identities in the LGBTQ community are now getting some shine. That is really exciting, because I think that first wave helped blow that door open.

That first album cover will always be iconic. I think I wanna be that for Halloween this year.

It was crazy because the head of the label at the time, who was actually really supportive and lovely, called me when I chose that as the cover, and he’s like, “Are you sure?” And I was like, “What?” He was like, “Well, I have to put this on the shelves at Target, you know? I don’t know if this is gonna connect with the public.” That was his sort of soft way of being like, “Is it too gay?” And I was just like, “I like it. I think I look fierce. I like the photo. I feel glam.” I remember the thing that helped a lot of straight men in trying to justify what I was doing, was like, “Well, what about Bowie?” You know, all the older men from that generation had to find somebody to reference in order for them to feel comfy with it. That’s what was so cool about classic rock is that it was like there were all these artists from that era that did the androgynous thing, that sort of did the ambiguity. So I was like, “Well, they did it. And you think that they’re a god, so why can’t I do it?”

Let’s talk about Afters. This is your first sort of comeback into this electro club sound. What led you to this music moment?

Yes, it’s probably the closest thing to what I did in 2015 with The Original High and “Ghost Town.” The thing is, before I did the classic rock thing on Idol, the music that I really listened to was dance music. I love electronic music. I love production. I love stuff that makes me move. I’ve just been listening to more and more of it. I think I wanted to make the kind of music that sounds like my life. I’m in a relationship, and I’m happy and it’s passionate. We socialize a lot together here in LA, and we’re out in the nightlife a lot. I wanted to make a soundtrack for that. We have a lot of after parties at the house. We’ve become kind of infamous for that. As I was getting more and more songs together, I was like, “I think I have an EP here. I think I want to put a few out.” And I was like, “How do I encompass the name? Afters, that’s it.” You go to a club and there are certain rules you have to follow, but then when you get to the after party, there are no rules. You know, that’s where the real freedom is.

You talked about that catch 22, and I always associate your fans with being old ladies. Like, you have a lot of old lady fans.

They’re old ladies! They are. I mean, I think it’s the Idol audience. They got excited that there was somebody repping for that era. I did a lot from the ’70s and ’80s when I was on the show, and I think they were excited because it reminded them probably when they were younger. And so I captured that imagination and nostalgia for them, I think. Then you add the Queen experience to that, and it’s like, I have connected with an older audience. I definitely have, and they’ve been so supportive and so sweet and coming to shows for the last 15 years and wearing merch. I definitely think for some of them, this [new music] isn’t quite their lane or their cup of tea. I’m hopeful that because they’ve been so loyal thus far, that they’ll understand that this is really a project that’s for me. Like, this is for me. It’s my truth, it’s my sound, it’s my lifestyle, if you will. And I feel like I’ve been around long enough and I’ve worked hard enough where I have every right to write about that. Do you know what I mean? I think the “reinvention” word is really cool. As a creative person, doing the same thing over and over again gets really boring. I wanted to try something different.

And this is where I feel like you’re your best. It’s the “For Your Entertainment,” it’s the Original High. Even Trespassing.

Well, this is probably the most authentic. Like I said, when you come to a party at my house, this is the kind of music I’m playing. When I’m driving in my car, this is the kind of music I’m listening to, or on a treadmill. These are the conversations that I have with my friends, you know? I don’t have a filter. I mean, that’s what it is.

Can we do a rapid fire round where you go track-by-track and quickly describe the Afters songs?

Sure.

Okay, “Deep House.”

Throwback. It’s a little more ’90s. It’s the most romantic song on the EP. I wrote it about my partner and I, and the JOMO of it all, when you find the joy of not going out. We don’t need to go to a club because we have each other. Like, you are better than a club. That’s kind of what the lyric is. That’s the metaphor. I don’t need to hit the streets. I’ll just hit it in the sheets. No wait, no line, we own the night. Like, let’s just hang out together, or have some friends over to the house.

“Wet Dream.”

I wrote that with some friends of mine, and we were just laughing the entire time. We had so much fun. That was with Ferras, Sarah Hudson, J Hart and Zhone. We got in the studio, and I was just like, “I want to give a diva, ’90s house vocal energy.” I want to sing with that classic house keyboard sound and just go for it.

“CVNTY.”

I mean, this is a word I use constantly. If something’s cunty, it’s fierce, it’s badass. It’s when you’re feeling confident and hot. It describes how something looks. You know me, I like to wear some outrageous stuff. That’s sort of my aesthetic to put on a pair of heels and leather and feel powerful and in charge. This is the one song I actually didn’t write on the EP, but I heard a demo of it, and I was instantly like, that’s so sick. It’s an empowering revenge anthem. Somebody did you wrong, and you’re like, “Oh no, you fucked up, so I’m gonna break your heart and I’m gonna look cunty when I do it.” I like the statement of it. Actually, this is my first time producing a vocal myself. I didn’t write the top line, but I actually sat here in this room, and over the pandemic, I taught myself how to use Logic. I have a good microphone and stuff, and so I was like, “I’m just gonna record this myself and do the vocal production.”

And then we have “Neck,” “Lube” and “Face.” I love the directness of the titles.

They don’t really leave much to the imagination. I’m so excited about how “Neck” turned out. The production is so progressive. It’s so intense. We actually just finished that one. That’s one of the newest ones. It’s kind of describing a hookup where it gets a little rowdy, and you can, like, bite someone’s ear, bite someone’s neck, you know? Things are heating up. Animalistic.

I think we’re running out of time, but this is PAPER, so I have to ask… I feel like you’ve lived so much life and have so many stories. Is there one juicy celebrity or industry story you’ve never talked about that our readers would like to hear about?

I got kicked out of Lady Gaga’s birthday party years ago because I got a little too drunk [Laughs]. This was a long time ago in 2013, maybe. It was down where they used to do Mustache Mondays downtown. And actually it was so fun, because we had a blast together before I got to that point. She was running around giving people shots, and we were all dancing and, yeah, I just got a little too drunk. I think there was food in the back. There was like a buffet of Mexican food set up. I think I got into the beans with my hands and started throwing food or something, and that’s when the security was like, “Time to go. Girl, you’re making a mess.” So I got an Uber and woke up the next morning like, “Wait, what? What did I do?” I don’t drink like that these days, not quite that heavy, but I was in a wild phase.

That’s iconic.

This is for me. It’s my truth, it’s my sound, it’s my lifestyle.

Photography: Brian Ziff

Tayla Parx‘s latest album, Many Moons, Many Suns didn’t come about easily. From start to finish, it tells the story of a breakup that led to revelations and realizations and pushed her into a more self-loving reality. As a songwriter, Parx has written hits for Ariana Grande, Normani and Khalid, but the honesty and vulnerability surrounding her latest project was something she could only do for herself.

“I’m so thankful for the experiences,” Parx tells PAPER on the day of her album release. “I remember, there was a time in life where I realized that I was so shielded away from my own emotions that I really wanted to get my heart broken. I wanted somebody to infiltrate my mind so bad that there was no running from it.”

Right before Many Moons, Many Suns, the singer, who refers to herself as a logical Virgo, had the opportunity to finally experience the heartbreak she was searching for. “I got to the point where I was free enough to be able to do that,” she says. “I’m so thankful for everybody who hurt me and everybody who healed me.”

In “Emotional Support,” she writes about trying to move on before deciding, “nevermind.” In “Standing Up To the Wind” she writes about taking her love back from anyone who didn’t deserve it. “I Don’t Talk About Texas” is like a memoir and sees Parx writing from the perspective of herself at different stages of her life, a testament to each of her ever-changing phases.

Below, Parx talks to PAPER about those shifting phases, focusing on sustainability in life and business, and how it feels to have such a vulnerable album out in the world.

Many Moons, Many Suns just dropped last week. How are you feeling about having it out in the world?

I’m feeling a sigh of relief. It’s kind of like when you’ve been waiting to tell your best friend some tea and then you gotta wait. So when you see them, It’s like, “Oh girl, let me tell you about this.” You have to hold on to that, so finally, when you get to feel that, it just feels like a relief.

I know there’s an emotional landscape to this album, but I heard there was a physical landscape involved in this era of your life. I read you were in the process of building a ranch, what has that been like?

I’m definitely in the phase of my life [where I want to focus on] sustainability and want to make sure I am spending my money in ways that reflect my values. So, shopping at smaller businesses or the farmers’ market, whatever it is. It turned into me being like, Okay, what ways can I live my life sustainably, that also just feed me joy? I’ve always been a caretaker. I’ve always had dogs and all kinds of animals. This time around, I was like, Okay, we’re gonna take it to the next level; maybe we get some chickens maybe we do eggs. Also I love gardening so it made sense to build this, again, in the same way that I’ve done with TaylorMade Inc, build ecosystems around myself that reflect my needs.

Speaking of TaylorMade Inc, I know you released this on your own label. What was that process like?

It was amazing and familiar because I released my Tayla Made mixtape independently. I’ve always been such a fan of building businesses, again, that reflect the kind of business that I want to see. I did some projects in partnership with Atlantic, which was amazing. But it was really nice to get back to things that make TaylorMade, TaylorMade. Being able to do it independently, you have the freedom to be a little bit left to center with the rollout or with the music that you choose to release and make sure that the contracts and the collaboration with other writers and producers who are part of it also reflect that new way of doing business.

You’ve written with and for some of the biggest pop stars in the world. How different is it to write for someone else in comparison to writing a song for yourself?

There’s a certain focus that you have to have when writing for other artists and it’s all about hitting that bull’s eye and hitting that exact emotion that they feel while making sure that other people relate. I love that. I love the fact that it’s a bit rigid, you have to be focused in on how this person would say it and what they’re trying to say. But with my own artistry, there’s a freedom. I have to let my subconscious tell me what needs to be said. [I can] let my heart tell me whatever needs to be said. It’s less about hitting these markers that have been provided to you by somebody else.

I know with Many Moons, Many Suns, you’re very vulnerable and openly talking about heartbreak and breakups. Were you nervous about going there?

Absolutely. You get a little bit nervous about it at first, but I think my last album, Coping Mechanisms really solidified the whole idea of being like, You know what, I’m gonna just bring you along with my story. I’m really making music with a fearlessness. I’m not afraid that people will judge me. I’m not afraid of any of those things, because it’s just life. Everybody goes through it and whoever can relate to it, they’ll relate to it and whoever hasn’t lived that maybe this is an escape for them or a little bit of drama for them. Whatever it is, whatever you pull from it is what I’m hoping for. I really make music without being afraid at all. I think that’s just where the most honest music comes from. That’s why people feel it.

I know the album focuses on multiple lived experiences and realizations but which song of the album came to you first?

The first song that we did from this project will probably be “Dream Hotel” or “Rich.” Those are the singles that came earlier. At that point I was able to look at the majority of this project with a bird’s eye view. Like, I went through these particular emotions over the past few years and now I can really lay out that timeline. Each of my projects you can listen from top to bottom and I’m telling you the story from beginning to the end. Also in just the way that I did the tracklist for the project as well. Some of those earlier songs are me saying Wow, I acknowledge that I got hurt in this or I acknowledge that I’ve hurt other people. Later on, you start to hear records, like “Celebration Weight” and all those other things where you come into being like, Now I have rebuilt myself, now we’ve come back into the moment where we’re happy again and more me than ever before.

How do you hope your fans feel when they’ve heard the album?

I hope they experience the rawness of it all. I hope it empowers them to go through whatever they’re going through. We always talk about getting over it and going on to the next thing, but just going through it, I think, is really what helps anybody become who they’re meant to be. I hope that they hear the vulnerability in this project and are empowered to say, “Hey, everybody is going through something and everybody’s having to figure it out.” It’s all for the better to be quite honest.

Now that the album is out in the world, what are you most excited to share next?

I’m most excited to get back on the stage. We have some tour dates that are about to be announced and will be happening in the fall. I’m very excited to get back and connect with The Taylor Tots and experience the record live with them.

Photography: Justin Ayers

It’s impossible to be across all the new music out each Friday. Luckily, PAPER is here to help you out: each week, we round up 10 of our favorite new songs from artists — emerging and established — to soundtrack your life. From the surreal to the sublime, these songs cover every corner of the music world. The only criteria: they all have to absolutely rip.

Subscribe to our Sound Off Spotify playlist here and check out this week’s tracks, below.

Joey Valence & Brae with Ayesha Erotica – “THE BADDEST (Badder Remix)”

Pennsylvania rappers Joey Valence and Brae link with the un-retired Ayesha Erotica for this balls-to-the-wall, totally loony remix of “THE BADDEST.” Better than coffee.

Frost Children and SEBii – “Boss Baby”

Typically synapse-frying bubblegum pop from Frost Children and Shanghai producer SEBii, who turn a meme-y conceit into a totally invigorating heater.

Jasmine.4.t – “Skin On Skin”

The latest signing to Phoebe Bridgers’ Saddest Factory Records, Jasmine.4.t’s new single recalls classic 2000s indie records, as well as the resolute folk emo of Camp Cope — a heart-on-sleeve track lit up by Jasmine’s pleading vocals.

Rauw Alejandro – “Déjame Entrar”

Rauw Alejandro returns with this slick, sun-bleached summertime reggaeton track, which finds the middle ground between winsome and unbothered.

Rob49 and Cardi B – “On Dat Money”

Cardi B continues her streak of impeccable guest verses with this extended feature on Rob49’s “On Dat Money,” a decidedly NSFW cameo that’s outrageously, brilliantly lewd.

Kim Deal – “Coast”

Kim Deal’s solo debut for 4AD is lush and breezy, a jangle track that luxuriates in its own low-key anthemics.

Dua Lipa – “Illusion – Logic1000 Remix”

A trip to the club for Dua courtesy of Berlin DJ Logic1000, who turns the marquee hit from Radical Optimism into a late-night floor-filler.

Porter Robinson – “Kitsune Maison Freestyle”

Porter Robinson’s latest singles have all been deeply weird and outlandish in a great way, and this gentle electro-pop song is no different, constantly oscillating between intensity and tenderness.

Tinashe and Chloë – “Nasty Girl Remix”

Chloë adds some vaudevillian flair to Tinashe’s viral summer hit, matching Tinashe’s freak with an enthusiastic, weird verse.

Kacy Hill – “Juliet”

Kacy Hill’s latest song blends the tones and textures of IDM with delicate indie-folk, resulting in an immersive, rich sound world.

Photo courtesy of JVB

“It’s hard to have patience when you’re waiting on luck/ Like a postal truck/ To bring you a love as tough as elephant tusk.” So begins Kara Jackson’s sprawling folk song overture, “no fun/party” from her debut album, Why Does the Earth Give Us People to Love?

When I first heard it in 2023, I was taken by these words. Jackson’s lyrics struck me as both plain-spoken and symbolically unwieldy. In Jackson’s world, the magical and the real interchange from line to line, but a sense of world-weary groundedness is always maintained through Jackson’s aching voice which writer Hanif Abdurraqib described for the New Yorker as having a “distinctive depth that is both biting and tender … sitting as heavy in the ear as it does in the heart.” I agreed. I even made the easy decision of picking Jackson’s debut as one of my favorite albums of 2023.

Jackson’s biography explains why her words hit with such force. She was part of Chicago’s vibrant youth poetry scene through Young Chicago Authors, a nonprofit that fosters the creative life of Chicago’s youth via creative writing workshops and programs. It was particularly inspiring that Jackson was coming up at a time when Chance the Rapper, Noname, Saba, Jamila Woods and many others were quickly moving from local Chicago favorites to global stars. That was Jackson’s proof that a life in the arts was possible, but she’d soon find confirmation for herself when she became the Youth Poet Laureate of Chicago. Soon after, she’d be chosen as the National Youth Poet Laureate, “representing” the US — though that representation was certainly not blindly “patriotic,” as she was sure to clarify.

When I ask about her time in the Laureateship, she’s somewhat coy, describing it as her “past.” Fair, but Jackson’s years spent honing her skills as a poet have so clearly shown up in her music. There’s not a syllable out of place on her 13-song debut, which is at once irreverent and profound, a moving journey through grief, love and the regular rhythms of becoming.

Having grown up attending Pitchfork Music Festival, Jackson is set to perform there this Saturday. When speaking about taking that stage, Jackson moves between a sense of joyful shock that she’s set to perform and a rooted sense of predestination. Pitchfork has long featured local Chicago acts. She has friends and collaborators who have played too and she grew up seeing the artistic generation above her perform there as well. It’s an honor, but not the wildest leap that it’s finally her turn. Regardless, she’s sure to make the most of it.

Jackson chatted with PAPER a week before she’s set to play her hometown’s coolest festival to talk about Chicago’s poetry scene, early success and touring her very personal debut album.

You’re from Chicago and playing Pitchfork. I’m curious if you went when you were younger?

Yeah, I would go as a teen. I started going to Pitchfork when I was like 15 or 16. I remember my best friend and I really wanted to see Chance the Rapper and I started going every summer since then.

From your perspective, how does Pitchfork fit into the Chicago music ecosystem?

I think it’s its own particular thing, because it’s not the same beast as Lollapalooza. You could see someone like Dua Lipa at Lolla. At Pitchfork, historically, there’s been more of an emphasis on indie artists, the kind of artists you’d see reading Pitchfork. Local acts have also always been such a thing. So I’ve grown up seeing people I really admire play Pitchfork, like Jamila Woods and my friend who helped me on my album, Kaina Castillo and Sen Morimoto. I remember rushing to get to Sen’s set like last year. It’s really cool to see how the local music scene influences Pitchfork’s lineup.

How does it feel playing Pitchfork, having been there growing up?

I think it’s definitely trippy. I’ve always wanted to play Pitchfork. Having seen my friends take the stage, it’s always been a big dream of mine, so a part of me has been counting down the years. It’s crazy that it’s happening because it feels like one of those things that you don’t really know if it’s gonna happen. I’m still mentally getting ready. I still think I’m going to the festival to attend and see people. I’m like, “Oh, okay, Carly Rae Jepsen’s playing.” But it’s weird that it’s my gig. I have to show up for my own set.

I know from friends who grew up in Chicago that the youth writing community was a central experience for a lot of young creatives in Chicago. And many musicians like Noname and Saba were a part of that as well. I’ve seen you talk about that time a bit, but I’m curious how it shaped your artistry?

I definitely grew up seeing Chance the Rapper at open mics. Saba talks about going to open mics in his songs. That was such a defining aspect of my teenagehood, and it gave me some of my first opportunities ever to share my work with people my age. I remember the first time I got to sing at Chance the Rapper’s open mic. It still is like such a big deal for me getting to interact with [Chicago artists] as an adult because I feel like I grew up being obsessed with Noname, Jean Deaux and Ravyn Lennae, just seeing all of them occupy this space and take control of these stages. Young Chicago Authors gave me my first artistic job. I worked there as a teenager doing poetry and going to poetry workshops. But it also gave me my first artistic community and let me have friends who also made art and wrote things.

I think that space really gave me a concept of what it actually looks like to be a working artist. It allowed me to understand that my dream is something tangible, because I think it takes looking at someone like Chance taking off. That was such a big deal for me as a kid, seeing him get really famous, or seeing Noname drop her first projects. Those were celebrities to me, but seeing them become celebrities to the world was such a crazy thing. So I think that those spaces growing up were common denominators in all of our stories.

Did poetry and music always feel connected to you?

Chicago is an interesting location for both music and poetry. There’s such a unique history around poetry especially, because the Poetry Foundation is here and Slam Poetry was born in Chicago at the Green Mill, this place on the North side. There’s this really particular overlap between the two artforms. I grew up going to poetry workshops, but also there would always be a poetry workshop followed by a rap workshop right after. So there’s a really natural ebb and flow between the two to me.

I’m sensitive about people saying, “Your songs are poetry.” I understand my songs as songs, but I definitely can see how poetry, and doing poetry as a discipline has influenced the way that I approach making music and the way that I write. It was just so normal to see someone get up on stage and do a poem, and then the person right after them does a whole song. A lot of people I know who are rappers were poets first. It’s an interesting phenomenon, the way that those disciplines inform each other here.

You were the Youth Poet Laureate of Chicago and then the National Youth Poet Laureate. What did that entail?

The Youth Poet Laureateship of Chicago was really cool because I was responsible for making a little book of poetry. And through being the Youth Poet Laureate of Chicago, I applied to be the national youth Poet Laureate because each person who applies represents a certain region. A bunch of people apply and I was the Midwest representative. I think it was really the first time that I had an official role with poetry. The Youth Poet Laureateship is essentially representing your country as a poet. I wasn’t writing patriotic poems, but I was given this title, and it’s a big honor, and you have to go to the Library of Congress.

I can only imagine how having that success as a very young person shapes you. What was that like?

Everyone has this in their own respective fields and areas, but especially in creative things, whether you’re writing for a publication or doing music. I think that everything is a mixture of luck, and then that forces you to discredit the actual work you put into things. I think that imposter syndrome is a weird thing ’cause I don’t think that it’s a thing that I like to give a lot of fuel, but I do think that it comes up especially as a woman of color, always wondering like, “Oh, do I deserve this?” For me, I’m really bad at processing things in the moment. It takes me years to process the magnitude of things sometimes. Like with the National Youth Poet Laureateship, I think I got … not embarrassed, but I was just like, “Okay, that’s like my past. I was like 19.” And it was such a specific thing.

But with music, I’ve always wanted to do music, and I’ve always wanted to share my music with the world. And so I think that has been really unprecedented, seeing the response [to my music] or getting to play something like Pitchfork. I think I’m not always present for those moments. It’ll be a week later, and I’m in my room playing Animal Crossing and I’m like, “That’s so crazy that a week ago we were playing this festival.” It takes me a second sometimes because, to me, I’m really normal, and it’s just weird that these songs that I wrote about my own life are alluring to people. But it’s humbling and freaky at the same time.

You just started touring for the first time?

Yeah, I just did a bunch of headlining shows in the US and Europe and May through now. I just got back from Europe about a week ago.

What was it like to play these very personal songs for audiences? I’m sure people have personal connections to them.

Touring the songs gives them such a different life and interpretation. It’s interesting energetically to see a crowd reacting to them, or just offering them up in that space. I think making the album is its own energy, being in the room with people you trust. But taking those songs out in the world is so interesting and seeing what resonates. I think it’s always a surprise. Also, in each city it’s different, so it’s cool to see different crowds. Sometimes it’s weird to perform in front of different crowds, because different cultures have such a different way of engaging with live music. Sometimes people would be dead silent, and I would be like, “Okay, I hope everyone is enjoying this!” [Laughs] It’s definitely been cool and I’m glad to be back home and resting up before Pitchfork.

I’m curious about any other Chicago artists that inspire you? What’s exciting you?

There’s so many people in the Chicago music scene that inspire me. especially my collaborators, San, Kaina and Namdi. But I have been so lucky to be taught so many things by Jamila Woods, and even the real OGs in Chicago like Krista Franklin and Avery R. Young are people who always really inspire me. People like Jean Deaux, Noname and Ravyn Lenae, those women gave me so much of a sense of confidence, just by watching them and aspiring to what they were doing. [Having] examples of Black women doing music and being creative and being themselves really gave me the tools to do the same thing, so I would definitely shout them out.

Photography: Lawrence Agyei, Ash Dye

Always Scrolling is PAPER‘s spotlight on our favorite TikTokers in fashion, beauty, lifestyle and more. Keep reading to discover this week’s viral sensation: Eva Gutowski (AKA MyLifeAsEva AKA Marisol).

Eva Gutowski got her start on YouTube as “MyLifeAsEva” in 2012. The channel has become sort of a public journal documenting her life through lifestyle, fashion, photography and music content. “I didn’t have the easiest childhood, so the colorful world of ‘MyLifeAsEva’ became a safe space for me to escape to for a while,” she tells PAPER. “But I credit everything I am today and basically all my creativity to who I was during the harder times in my life. It’s really cool to come full circle and still find so much inspiration from my childhood. It’s really cool to see it evolve in different ways as I get older.”

Now, Gutwoski has more than 11.1 million followers on YouTube, 8.5 million on Instagram and 7 million on TikTok. Honoring the scene kid she once was, who downloaded electronic music on FrostWire and went to raves, Gutowski is embarking on a new journey in producing and DJing under the name “Marisol” with some advice from her friend Skrillex to develop a sound of her own. With all of this under her belt, she’s on the right track to becoming a household name sooner rather than later.

PAPER chatted with Gutowski about growing up in the public eye of social media, the fashion trend she thinks we’re about to see everywhere and the tracks she has on repeat this summer.

@mylifeaseva

Replying to @meg if you dont know, now you know! Where should i play in 2024? 😈

What do you love about what you do?

I love that I get to be a visual representation of a mixed, pansexual girl who is truly living her best fucking life. I’ve always had this mentality that’s like, I literally survived hell and back before the internet even knew me. Not only did I survive, but I also came out grateful! Because of that, I feel like people judging me really doesn’t matter. I have a strong sense of self, and as a result, I’m able to be 100% authentic in my online presence. I take my viewers with me in everything I do, and it really feels like we’re all winning together because they know me.

When people come up to me and say, “I grew up with you,” my first response is always, “I grew up with you, too!” I think people forget that they’re as much a part of this journey as I am. We’re both just living life somewhat alongside each other and growing from our experiences. I feel like if I can post my life unapologetically (even all my embarrassing moments, flop eras, relationships, successes), it just makes it more normal for everyone else to live their lives unapologetically and grow in a good way, too.

Who is another TikToker that you love right now?

I just love Alex Consani. I feel like she’s who I was before I gave up trying to find friends that could match my freak. She always has me cracking up. I ran into her during fashion week last year after the Area show, and in my head, I was like, Eva, you have to say something…you’re such a fan. I went up to her and said, “Excuse me, are you Alex?” And she goes, “MyLifeAsEva? Can I get a picture with you?” I was dead. She took a selfie, and I took a film photo on my Contax. We run into each other every once in a while, and I love seeing her win.

Craziest comment you’ve received on a post?

My comments are pretty chill. There have been a few times when people in the comments have tried to convince others that they’re my cousins.

What’s one of your favorite looks you’ve posted?

I loved the baby bangs look we did for the L’Officiel Liechtenstein feature. It was a lace closure that the hairstylist sewed onto my head, and once I saw those baby bangs on me, I was like, This is it. This is the look I was supposed to have! It’s the same feeling you get when you dye your hair a whole different color, and it just fits. I didn’t want to take the bangs out and almost cut my own hair that night, but then I thought, Do I really want to deal with the heat damage of styling these? and chickened out. I still really want them though.

@mylifeaseva

WHAT DID I JUST FIND 😳😳😳🕵🏼‍♀️ omg?? #vaquera #fashion #commesdesgarcon

What’s a trend that you love right now?

I’m obsessed with bag charms. I love Jane Birkin-esque messy bags with stickers and jewelry all over them. I bought my first Birkin a few years ago and never wore it because it just felt too formal. Then I thought, let me try to “Jane Birkin” it and see how I feel. It fixed everything. But you really have to be creative to participate in the trend and use necklaces, ribbon, Tamagotchis. I can’t believe more brands aren’t selling cool bag charms. I feel like that’s going to be everywhere very soon.

One that you hate?

Don’t come for me, but Adidas Sambas. It’s not like I don’t like them. I own two pairs, and they’re so cute. Last year, you couldn’t leave the house without seeing a hundred of them a day. Now, whenever I wear mine, I feel like they just make my outfit look so 2023. I still wear mine, obviously, but they just don’t excite me right now when I’m getting dressed. I need to stop buying trendy sneakers because they can be such a timestamp on an era. It’s probably better to buy sneakers no one knows about so they can be a bit more timeless.

What would you never wear?

I know 2010s fashion is trying to come back, but you won’t catch me in skater skirts, galaxy print or peplum. I learned my lesson, and I’m not going back.

Favorite fashion and beauty brands right now?

I’m a big Courrèges fan. To me, they’ve always been sexy, timeless and a bit tomboy and sporty, which is my favorite way to dress. I also love Roberto Cavalli for summer. My current favorite beauty brand is Charlotte Tilbury. I take the mini eyeshadow palettes with me on every trip!

Who’s your celebrity crush?

Adam freaking Driver. You know what? My childhood crush was Josh Hutcherson, then Justin Long and then Miles Teller. So I feel like Adam Driver is the next step up in the hierarchy. They all give off the same sort of aura.

What’s a good book you’ve read recently?

It sounds silly, but I’ve been learning German, so literally the last few books I’ve read have been German children’s books. I asked for suggestions and got so many good ones. My favorite was Die Kleine Raupe Nimmersatt, and it’s about a caterpillar that eats too much.

@mylifeaseva

You can redo a hairstyle but you cant redo a core memory 🥲☔️ #curlyhair #hairtok @Qc Terme

Favorite restaurant in NYC?

There’s this spot called Taco Mahal in the West Village that turns fun, casual Indian food into tacos made with naan and roti. I swear when I eat there, sauce is dripping down the side of my face. It’s that good. It’s not fancy or anything, but if you love Indian food, it’s a must-try.

Favorite club in NYC?

Paragon is a sick spot in Brooklyn where I’ve seen some really fun techno sets. The bartenders are also super nice, and there’s a basement area. Last time I was there, I danced like two feet away from the smoke machine blowing in my face and woke up sick, sneezing smog dust for days. It was worth it.

What are five songs you have on repeat right now?

“TTG (Go)” by Sexxy Red, “What Once Was” by Her’s, “Han Jan” by Peggy Gou, “The Beach” by Miss Kittin, “Blow Out” by Overmono and “BREAK A NECK” Odetari and Ayesha Erotica.

Photography: Olav Stubberud

Do you want to keep bumpin’ that? Are you on the hunt for someone who can match you freak?

Well, we’ve got a sunny, sweltering playlist just for you. Pulling together our favorite tracks of the summer is no easy feat for team PAPER, but we did our due diligence to field test and approve your new go-to seasonal soundtrack.

This list has everything: recent PAPER cover stars Chappell Roan, JT and Camila Cabello; saccharine tracks from Sabrina Carpenter and at least three Charli XCX moments (we regret nothing!); and we even lifted vibes from the Challengers soundtrack.

So, whether you’re having a much-deserved brat summer or wishing your babe, “good luck!” it’s time to throw your headphones on, turn your speaker up and lean into the sounds of the summer, according to PAPER.

— Erica Campbell, Music Editor

Charli xcx – “365”

The closing track to Charli XCX’s hot girl record brat is a sonic orgasm: anthemically taking you through every emotion of a perfect night out. It’s loud and dizzying, and makes you want to strut down any sidewalk or hallway you can find, and then bash your head into a bathroom stall wall at your favorite club (in the best way). “KEEP BUMPIN’ THAT!” I know I will.

— Alaska Riley, Social Editor

Sabrina Carpenter – “Espresso”

I first heard “Espresso” at Coachella this spring and I don’t think I’ve had a day when it hasn’t played in my head since. Sugary sweet and with more than a few lines you can add to your daily, cheeky lexicon (see: “My give a fucks are on vacation”), this track may have been the first warning of Sabrina Carpenter’s current chart takeover. What better way to soundtrack your heat-filled sleepless nights than with a track about your lover’s obsession, brimming with witty lines (“I know I mountain dew it for you”). As sensational as the singer behind its lyrics, it’s hard to imagine a proper seasonal playlist that doesn’t include this bop.

— Erica Campbell, Music Editor

Trent Reznor, Atticus Ross – “Challengers: Match Point”

People joked that they should play the Challengers soundtrack in the gay club and it became my reality this summer. It’s just so perfect for that twilight moment in the club, around 1:30 AM when the strobes and people and music blend into one primordial entity. I recommend being hot and bringing hot friends to the club in preparation, so that when the DJ bumps it, you can look around after a vodka soda, maybe a blunt outside, like, “So, are y’all going to kiss or what?” Preferably you have a cunty little bob for the occasion, but I’d take a little skirt and crop top with the Versace “Medusa” pumps as an alternative.

— Joan Summers, Writer

Remi Wolf – “Soup”

Remi Wolf distills the complex, at times illogical sensation of love down to sharing each other’s keys and picking up dinner on her single, “Soup,” off new album Big Ideas (Also check out “Pitiful” and “Alone in Miami”). Relationships can be selfish and desperate, scary and addicting, often leading you to just “getting drunk on the rooftop” as a means of surviving all these emotions. Here, Remi wraps it all up into a massive power-pop tune that explodes on the cathartic chorus (“They told me to leave, but I don’t wanna leave without you!”) and captures summer escapism in the most honest, colorful way.

— Justin Moran, Editor-in-chief

Camila Cabello – “I LUV IT”

“I Luv It”? I love it! And look: after writing our Camila Cabello cover story, I know better than probably anyone that many of you do not! Which is fine, but I invite you to open up your cold, brat-green heart for just a moment and allow yourself to take a whiff of what’s in this particular bottle. Because “I Luv It” is not just an electrifying shock to wake us up and see Camila in a whole new, electric-blue light. It’s also a truly memorable sonically expansive earworm that I believe will be remembered for a very long time. Not just because it’s a real bop, but because it’s our portal to C,XOXO, which (and I’m the Paul Revere of saying this) is genuinely very good!

— Tobias Hess, Writer

Chappell Roan – “Good Luck, Babe!”

I’m not afraid to say it: I’m a latecomer to the greatness that is Chappell Roan. I’d skimmed last year’s The Rise and Fall of A Midwest Princess without ever really latching on — but this standalone single sold me big time, becoming an immediate staple of my library. The bridge alone is powerful enough to kill a small child! It’s also a clear contender for the song of the summer in a larger sense because it does feel inescapable (at bars, on the radio, in my head) — and no matter how much I hear it, I don’t get tired of that chorus.

— Matt Wille, Managing Editor

Tinashe – “Nasty”

“Is somebody gonna match my freak?” is the question weighing on everybody’s minds this summer. Endless memes and TikToks aside, Tinashe is finally having her big moment and I couldn’t be happier for her, especially as an independent artist. It’s been a long time coming too. She’s been working hard and it’s finally paying off in a big way! With its minimal production, “Nasty” is proof that sometimes all you need is a lit bass and drum line, an addictive melody and catchy lyrics.

— Andrew Nguyen, Fashion Editor

Sabrina Carpenter – “Please Please Please”

“Everyone makes mistakes, but just don’t” has been replaying in my head since the first time I heard Sabrina Carpenter’s hit single “Please, Please, Please.” It seems like no matter what song you’re playing on Spotify, it will be next on the queue, and I appreciate that. The cunty little bop earned Sabrina her first No.1 on the Billboard 100 making her the first solo act to have two songs in the top five. And if two spots in the top five wasn’t enough, she hit us with an iconic music video starring her Oscar-nominated boyfriend Barry Keoghan. This woman is everything to me.

— Angelina Cantú, Editorial Producer

NewJeans – “How Sweet”

The hook of “How Sweet” sneaks up on you rather than hitting you over the head. The K-Pop group continues their effortless reign over pop with a synth-y hook about the ecstasy that comes from leaving a toxic relationship. “It’s like biting an apple,” the girls sing before the infectious chorus. With a mind-blowing visual by Creative Director Min Hee Jin that puts most Western pop girls to shame, the song is another banger in the NewJeans vault that will elevate them to that coveted bubblegum superstar status.

— Ivan Guzman, Writer

Charli XCX – “Guess”

This song was the surprise sleeper hit off of brat. I’ve been to about three different brat-centric parties and without fail, it’s this and the “The girl so confusing version with lorde” that people go up for the hardest. For good reason, too. “You wanna guess the color of my underwear” is both a question and a command on the dancefloor, a spiritual successor to the great club classics of Kylie Minogue and Britney Spears, whose songs often pose similar commands and questions of the imagined voyeur. That, and it sounds like they cranked up the bass on one of Uffie’s bloghouse classics like “Hot Chick.” Fitting, as Charli XCX is the only producer and songwriter capable of bringing the hipster generation into the new world in a way that is both sexy enough to feel future-thinking and sweaty enough to match the changing climate.

— Joan Summers, Writer

Doechii, JT – “Alter Ego”

It took a little bit for this one to grow on me, to be honest, but after seeing the music video set in the swamps of South Florida, I was sold on the vision. And then a couple of drinks and hearing it on big speakers that shook my soul, while shaking ass with my besties, I was addicted. Here’s to (responsibly) messy nights out this summer!

— Andrew Nguyen, Fashion Editor

Clairo – “Sexy to Someone”

Clairo is not a mother, per se, but she is a cousin, friend, sister, confidante and bard. Though I’ve been seated since Immunity became my age cohort’s whispering answer to Jagged Little Pill, I did fall off momentarily with the relatively coo coo sounding Jack Antonoff-produced Sling. I’ve since come around on that strange album’s charm, but I was overjoyed to hear “Sexy to Someone,” which is Antonoff-free, jammy, vulnerable as ever, but infused with a levity we haven’t seen from dear Claire since “Pretty Girl.”

— Tobias Hess, Writer

PinkPantheress – “Turn it up”

PinkPantheress continues to amaze me with her earworm excellence and ability to capture our short attention spans. This time it’s with a strategic Selena sample that cuts straight through all Mexican-Americans’ hearts. “Dreaming of You” was that song they used in Selena when she was shot and killed by Yolanda, so it really stings. But PinkPantheress takes that nostalgia and turns it into a summertime bop, with another hook that just stays with you. “Hey, it’s me/ We’ve been talking twice a week,” she sings. And shoutout to British king Nate Di Winer (of Tinashe “Nasty” white boy dance fame) for giving us his rendition of “Turn It Up.” Seems like he can make any song go viral by shaking his lil booty.

— Ivan Guzman, Writer

Gracie Abrams – “Close To You”

Gracie Abrams had a lot to prove with her debut album The Secret Of Us and she did not disappoint. The long-awaited single “Close To You” was first teased (and pretty much scrapped) seven years ago, but the original demo has been a fan favorite since she played a piano rendition on TikTok a few years ago, inspiring a wave of continued desire for the full song. The final production is reminiscent of Lorde’s “Greenlight,” a pounding heart-achey beat driven by lyrics of longing that feel more hopeful than sad. Lovergirls deserve songs of the summer too! Shoutout Gracie for giving us one.

— Alaska Riley, Social Editor

Billie Eilish – “LUNCH”

“Lunch” is a hit for many reasons, but we’ll touch on the most important one. It’s the first explicitly sapphic song to debut No.1 on the charts. When the track first leaked during Coachella it was heard in every lesbian group chat around the world. The first 10 seconds alone rewrote gay history.

— Angelina Cantú, Editorial Producer

METTE – “BET”

METTE is the type of ultra-special artist we’ll look back at and collectively wonder why she was slept on for so long. Her funk-inflected single, “BET,” really wakes you up, though, paired with a video highlighting the Minnesota native’s dance skills and reveals that it’s actually a self-love anthem. “One day, soon you’ll be loving me,” she sings to herself, over production that sounds as sunny as a mid-summer block party in New York. Ice cream trucks are inching by, fire hydrants are spraying water onto the streets and METTE becomes the perfect soundtrack. “I thought I was writing a song about external love, but really, I was writing a song about eternal love,” METTE says. “I realize now that ‘BET’ was meant to remind me that self-love is worth betting everything on.”

— Justin Moran, Editor-in-chief

Chappell Roan – “My Kink Is Karma”

Even though it was released last year, I snuck this one onto the list because I cannot, and I refuse to, stop streaming “My Kink Is Karma” on repeat. A song about getting off your ex’s karmic retribution equipped with a chorus that climbs to a climax? I dare you to listen and not scream “Oh god!” at the top of your lungs. There has been so much said about Chappell Roan, but her knack for writing love songs where we can be petulant lovers and shamelessly honest narrators is unmatched. Not to mention that singing “It’s hot!” on repeat while walking down steamy summer streets just makes sense, whether karma is your kink or not.

— Erica Campbell, Music Editor

Charli XCX, Lorde – “The girl, so confusing version with lorde”

It’s a Hot brat Summer — literally ask anyone! — and “Girl, so confusing” was a brat standout from the jump. A catchy diss track about Charli’s insecurities? Sign me up. And then for the much-rumored subject of the song to jump on a remix? Legendary. Lorde manages to match Charli’s energy and vulnerability (and sing-rapping) to a tee, bridging the gap between two icons with seeming ease. I get chills every time Lorde says, “Cause you know I ride for you, Charli.” Chills!

— Matt Wille, Managing Editor

Photography: Getty Images

HEALTH and Lauren Mayberry of CHVRCHES, are joining forces to give “fresh life” to a static-filled, metallic R&B pop track. In the new rendition, Mayberry’s singular vocals add a new layer of depth to “ASHAMED,” which was previously released on the band’s album RAT WARS. From the opening admission of, “We both know you shouldn’t come here anymore/ But what’s a bridge if left unburned?” to the close of “I’ve got nothing to say,” they delve into the questions, regrets and even the pain of human existence.

“We have commissioned many remixes of our work and participated in dozens of collaborations,” HEALTH vocalist Jake Duzsik tells PAPER. “But this is the first time I can recall reimagining a previously released song with another vocalist. For me, it has given the music a fresh life and deeper dimension.”

In the visuals, directed by Mynxii White and premiering exclusively on PAPER, Mayberry and Duzsik alternate lines in the industrial track, as shadows, ruby hues add a menacing atmosphere to their delivery amid a dark forest back drop.

“I really respect the creative world that HEALTH have built for themselves and the community that exists around it,” Mayberry tells PAPER. “It was an honor to be trusted with this reinterpretation. Always happy to run around in the woods at night and call it work.”

Speaking of the original version to Zane Lowe on Apple Music 1, Duzsik called the original version of the track “highly personal.” When he wrote it, Duzsik says it “was almost kind of stream of consciousness. I had recently become a father and was trying to deal with fatherhood and keeping a partnership together and then lockdown and all these different things.”

Duzsik adds: “I think it was like Robert Smith, I read a quote of his where he was asked why he never had kids and it was because he was not consulted as to whether or not he wanted to be born and if he’d been given the choice, he would’ve preferred to have not been. I thought that that was incredible. Yeah, it’s about the most gothy thing you could say.”

Photography: Mynxii White