A reader explains why they went three decades without ever owning a PlayStation console, while listing all the other formats they’ve owned instead.
I hope you’re sitting down as you read this because I’m going to shock you, well assuming you haven’t already keeled over from seeing the headline. But it’s true: I have never owned a PlayStation console. I’ve played one, of course, I’m not a hermit. However, I’ve never bought one or had one in the house. Not out of any hatred for Sony but just a combination of coincidence, indifference, and poverty.
Nevertheless, I am willing to prove, after 30 long years, that I have nothing against Sony, and I have pre-ordered a PS5 Pro for myself. I’ll get into my various reasons in a moment, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that one of the most important is that I enjoy the irony that my first PlayStation console will also be by far the least popular – at least according to popular opinion on the internet.
But first, my reasons for having got this far, while still claiming myself to be a video games fan. Well, the reason I didn’t get the original PlayStation is because I had a N64 instead and felt perfectly happy that I had made the right choice, given the quality of Super Mario 64 and Zelda and the obviously inferior graphics of the PS1.
It didn’t pass me by that the PS1 was much more popular though, but while I still convinced myself I’d made the right choice I probably would’ve gone for the PlayStation 2 next, as it clearly didn’t have much competition. I got trigger-happy though and ended up getting a Dreamcast instead and when that died early and, more importantly, I moved in with girlfriend, my interest in gaming drifted for a few years.
I did get an Xbox 360 though, primarily because I was interested in Mass Effect, and was very happy with that as a console. You can probably guess what’s coming next but that led me to buying an Xbox One, a decision I very quickly regretted. I realised I’d picked the wrong horse, but I had the choice between a Switch and PlayStation 4 and ultimately I was more drawn to the Nintendo games – since I hadn’t owned a Nintendo console since the N64 days.
I’m very happy with the Switch, and interested in what the Switch 2 turns out to be, but I am now ready to get a PlayStation 5 as well. Back in the day I couldn’t afford to get two consoles at once and, for me, there was never enough appeal in the PlayStation games to go that extra length.
I played things like The Last Of Us and God Of War at a friend’s and they didn’t really grab me, I expect because they’re more the sort of thing you want to play relaxed on your own. I will give all the obvious classics a go now though, hopefully in their superior PS5 Pro forms. I’m especially looking forward to Bloodborne.
Anyway, I hope this explains why I have made the seemingly strange choice to not get a PlayStation until now. I realise the PS5 Pro is not much of an improvement on the original but since it’s my first PlayStation of any kind I figure I might as well start at the top. I’d ask for game recommendations but to be honest it’s kind of obvious at the moment. I just hope they’re all work the wait.
By reader Kitney
The reader’s features do not necessarily represent the views of GameCentral or Metro.
You can submit your own 500 to 600-word reader feature at any time, which if used will be published in the next appropriate weekend slot. Just contact us at gamecentral@metro.co.uk or use our Submit Stuff page and you won’t need to send an email.
A reader argues that Resident Evil 5 deserves a remake, not only because it’s a good game but because its co-op mode is the best in gaming.
There’s been a lot of talk recently, about a new survey that showed the majority of people, especially older gamers, prefer single-player games to multiplayer. This has always been my experience and the only reason this isn’t reflected in the games that get made seems to be that publishers make more money off multiplayer, via microtransactions.
That makes sense, even if it’s annoying, but what the survey also reveals is that local co-op is much more popular than you’d imagine given the number of big budget games that are made with the option, which rounds down to basically none.
Why is an absolutely mystery to me and I’m certain that not including the option in the latest Halo is a big reason why it wasn’t the return to form that was expected. It seems mad not to consider the option important, because It Takes Two has sold over 20 million copies. 20 million! And it’s not even very good, or at least not compared to Resident Evil 5.
After the glory of Resident Evil 4, series creator Shinji Mikami left Capcom and at that point things were never quite the same again. Resident Evil 5 and 6 are generally considered to be the worst mainline games in the series and when it comes to 6 I think that’s absolutely fair.
If you think Assassin’s Creed is bloated then you haven’t played Resident Evil 6, which is so stuffed with plot strands, game modes, and characters that it almost seems like a mini-game collection. It’s also terribly designed, with bad combat, and is basically no fun at all. And that’s despite it having two-player co-op all the way through.
The reason it has co-op is because it was pioneered with the previous game, Resident Evil 5, which used it as its main selling point. Resident Evil 5 is not nearly as bad a game as 6. It’s much more focused, for a start, but it certainly does have the problem that it’s not scary, but then it’s not trying to be. It’s a pretty bad Resident Evil game but it is, in my opinion, a great co-op game.
Chris Redfield is the main playable character but in single-player the whole thing comes across as a fairly shallow and linear shooter. But play with a friend in couch co-op and it’s transformed into something completely different.
Part of the appeal is because the gameplay throws a lot more enemies at you in co-op and there’s no way you can take them all on yourself. You partner has to help out or you’re both doomed, so, since you’re both sitting on the same sofa there’s lots of arguing, strategising, and blaming each other – the classic elements of any good co-op.
There are some puzzles and situations which are different in co-op, than when you play on your own, forcing you to co-operate further, and it’s obvious that the game was always designed with two people as the primary mode. That is extremely rare for a big budget video game, both then and now, and that’s a real shame.
It annoys me that Resident Evil 5 is looked down as a lesser entry because while admittedly it’s not really a survival horror it is a really fun game. The portrayal of Africa is iffy, especially the bit in the village, and I’m not going to defend that, but it was also questioned at the time and could easily be fixed in a remake.
No matter the other problems, the gameplay is fantastic and what’s extra annoying is that Resident Evil 5 is still the best-selling entry in the series. Not 7 or Village or any of the remakes but 5, the one everyone thinks is a lame duck and whose main feature has only ever been used once more, in 6.
Add this to things like the sales of It Takes Two and you’ve go to ask why aren’t more Resident Evil games co-op? And why aren’t more games in general co-op? I really have no idea. I guess it’s because they don’t need microtransactions. Resident Evil 5 absolutely deserves a remakes so it can prove to publisher that couch co-op is a much bigger draw than they realise.
By reader Golem
The reader’s features do not necessarily represent the views of GameCentral or Metro.
You can submit your own 500 to 600-word reader feature at any time, which if used will be published in the next appropriate weekend slot. Just contact us at gamecentral@metro.co.uk or use our Submit Stuff page and you won’t need to send an email.
It’s impossible to be across all the new music out each Friday. Luckily, PAPER is here to help you out: each week, we round up 10 of our favorite new songs from artists — emerging and established — to soundtrack your life. From the surreal to the sublime, these songs cover every corner of the music world. The only criteria: they all have to absolutely rip.
Subscribe to our Sound Off Spotify playlist here and check out this week’s tracks, below.
ROSÈ – “APT.”
Blackpink’s Rosé turns her favorite Korean drinking game into a cheeky, rollicking pop-rock track, featuring Bruno Mars, that arrives with an irrepressibly fun, Ting Tings-y video.
f5ve – “UFO”
J-pop ground F5ve return with this mutant pop song, produced by A.G. Cook, BloodPop and Count Baldor, that splits the difference between American-style hyperpop and early-2000s pop-R&B, finding a delicate balance between the two.
Panda Bear, Cindy Lee – “Defense”
Panda Bear teams up with Cindy Lee, aka Patrick Flegel, on this winsome, chugging rock track.
FKA twigs – “Perfect Stranger”
The latest single from Eusexua plays like a sequel to Twigs’ great Two Shell collaboration “Talk To Me,” an elastic happy hardcore track that roils with discontent and sadness.
Kylie Minogue – “Someone For Me”
The highlight from Kylie’s new album Tension II is this slinky, lovelorn dance-pop track animated by a chilly trance synth line.
MIKE – “Pieces Of A Dream”
“Pieces of a Dream” is dazed and incredibly lush, floating effortlessly though its all-too-short runtime.
Hildegard, Helena Deland, Ouri – “Pour Your Heart Out”
Hildegard’s new jazz-inflected sophomore record Jour 1596 is warm and inviting, and that vibe is epitomised by this shapeshifting boom-bap track.
Morgan Wallen – “Love Somebody”
Genius says this song interpolates Dua Lipa’s “Training Season,” which is kind of amazing. The country star’s second single from MW4 is breaking new ground.
Christopher Owens – “Beautiful Horses”
I love the ambling, soulful tone to this new Christopher Owens ballad, a highlight from his first album in many years.
Speakers Corner Quartet, Tirzah – “This Is How We Walk On The Moon”
Tirzah’s last album was populated with raging industrial beats and discomfiting textures; it’s a lovely change of pace to hear her with this live instrumentation.
Quay Dash, the iconic New York rapper behind SOPHIE-produced classics “Bossed Up” and “Queen of This Shit,” is back today with brand new music. She’s teamed up with producer K.G. Helm on “5 Inch Heels,” featuring BABYNYMPH, as the second single off a collaborative EP, Untitled, due out October 31 (See also: “Hit ‘Em Up”). “Rep it for the Black and the Brown, I’m runnin’ this town,” Dash spits, boasting her ability to do so effortlessly in “five-inch heels and a gown.”
Helm first connected with Dash online, as a Berlin-based musician. “We lived on opposite sides of the world,” he says, although they eventually connected in person after he flew to NYC for sessions. “The first time we met in person we made a beat together on my MPC. We had known each other for a total of about 30 minutes, but it was the perfect ice breaker.” As the two grew closer and built “real creative chemistry,” he says “some nights literally felt like magic.”
The decision to make a full project together arrived when Helm “felt a real vacancy for Quay’s voice in the world of culture.” He says, “She’s so fucking unique, there’s no one like her,” and so the two began exchanging demos, sharing inspiration, talking shit and encouraging each other. “We became hungry to make something that meant something.”
BABYNYMPH got involved after meeting Helm at an afters. “We spiraled over everything from trashy music to quantum mechanics,” Helm remembers of the encounter, describing Quay as a “serious force with an unapologetic sound.” BABYNYMPH says she then squatted in Helm’s “sci-fi ass looking” apartment for over a month (“who the fuck would resist that”), working with him on “literally anything we could put our hands on.”
Other collaborators of the Untitled EP include Dmitra, Maryposa and Sekucci, whom Helm says he “met in a K-hole once in New York and hit it off.” There’s also a special “5 Inch Heels” remix, out everywhere today, from producers Ariel Zetina and Del Hale. “I love collaborating as an artist,” Helm says. “Creating with people really connects you on another level.”
Dash and Helm tapped into different sides of each other, leaning into the rapper’s “willingness to experiment,” he says. On one track, she unveils an entirely new persona named Cleo (“Quay Dash feat. Quay Dash”). From ballroom-inspired beats to classic boom bap and trip-hop twists, Helm “made it a priority to ensure each track had its own distinct identity.” Several songs were built entirely around raw acapellas for Quay’s vocals to lead any decision-making.
“It’s been a while since Quay released stuff and I’m just so happy it’s all finally happening,” BABYNYMPH says. “The [Untitled] EP is fresh AF, it’s cunty and it fits perfectly in a club setting, as well as on the runway.”
If you’re after a throwback to the Xbox 360 era, a cancelled pirate game is now playable after it was last shown over a decade ago.
While we’re in the age of reviving old games through remakes and remasters, the idea of a cancelled project making a comeback is practically unheard of.
Cancelled projects do sometimes emerge via small gameplay snippets, like the TimeSplitters reboot, but an official release is usually out of the question. That’s exactly what’s happened, however, with the case of Captain Blood.
Originally revealed at E3 2004, Captain Blood was stuck in development hell for years before it gradually morphed into an action title inspired by the early God Of War games. It was later revealed in another trailer in 2010 and was set to come out on Xbox 360 and PC in 2011, but it never materialised.
While any hope for Captain Blood seemed dead, the game was re-revealed 14 years later in June 2024 by developers Seawolf Studio and General Arcade. Now, 20 years after it was first announced, it is now playable through a free demo.
The demo is available on PC as part of Steam Next Fest, which runs until October 21 and sees thousands of indie games release early looks at their titles.
As you can tell from the trailer, Captain Blood is a hack ‘n’ slash pirate-themed action game which looks directly pulled from the Xbox 360 era, complete with sword, pistol, and ship combat with cannons.
While it remains to be seen whether it is actually any good, it’s a fascinating oddity regardless. There’s a documentary on the game’s long development by YouTuber PCGI, which traces its origins back to the Sea Dogs franchise in 2000.
Captain Blood is scheduled to be released at some point in 2024 on Xbox, PlayStation, PC, and Nintendo Switch, with a specific date yet to be announced.
The game is published by SNEG, who have built their name on reviving old games like Chasm: The Rift and Severance: Blade Of Darkness.
Rebecca Black’s “TRUST!” music videos opens in court, as influencers take the stand talking about what they love, hate and admire about the pop star.
In the Mean Girls-style opening monologue, one person says, “Boiler rooms used to be cool, then Rebecca Black ruined them,” while another claims she slept with Elon Musk. The hilarious testimonies break away to show Black masked up, flashing lights and bodies surrounding her, as an intense dance beat grows behind the pop star and DJ, eventually breaking into a full-on choreographed dance routine in front of the judge.
“It felt only right to kick off the next project with the loudest and brashest track I’ve put out yet,” Black tells PAPER, “and ‘TRUST!’ embodies the essence of the fearlessness in this project better than anything.”
To bring the spicy dance video to life, Black worked with Director Olivia De Camps, telling PAPER that it was “so seamless from the jump because she really understood the vision I had, not only for this song, but for the entire project.” Black also says that the heart of her upcoming project is about “tapping into this essence of delusion of grandeur and glamour that led the writing process for me. Everything I breathe is laced with camp these days and this concept felt like turning a narrative on its head in a fierce and unapologetic way.”
“TRUST!” follows Black’s viral Boiler Room performance. The star has come a long way since her hit “Friday” more than a decade ago, and, judging by this club-ready track and recent exploits, she’s gearing up to share a project that’s sure to get people talking (and dancing).
The developer behind Marvel’sSpider-Man is apparently ‘gearing up’ to show off its Wolverine game, with some signs pointing to this week.
Insomniac originally announced Marvel’s Wolverine back in September 2021 with a teaser trailer, but we’ve heard nothing about the project since.
Beyond the initial reveal, the only information about the title has come via leaks and last year’s hacking incident, where stolen documents claimed it was slated for release in 2026 following a Venom half-sequel for Spider-Man 2 next year.
While it’s unclear if this release schedule was authentic or if it has changed since, it seems Insomniac is planning to show off Wolverine in some capacity before the end of the year.
According to video game insider and dataminer Kurakasis, Sony is ‘gearing up to show off some new stuff from Marvel’s Wolverine’, speculating it’ll be at some point this year either at The Game Awards or a ‘super-secret event’.
While The Game Awards in December would be the obvious contender, a Marvel Games panel at New York Comic-Con is set to take place later today at 4.45pm ET, which is 9.45pm BST in the UK.
Acknowledging the panel at New York Comic-Con, Kurakasis, who has a solid track record for gaming leaks, added: ‘Yeah, I think we should keep that event in mind too.’
Insomniac attended last year’s New York Comic-Con, where it debuted several new suits for Spider-Man 2 before it launched later that month, so it’s entirely possible they’ll show up again this year.
The Marvel Games panel is set to last for 30 minutes, but there’s a wealth of other Marvel games beyond Wolverine in development. Marvel Rivals will likely be shown in some capacity before it launches on December 6, but we also know about Marvel’s Blade, an Iron Man game from EA, a standalone Black Panther title, and Marvel 1943: Rise Of Hydra.
We’ve known about Marvel’s Wolverine longer than the majority of those games though, so it’s likely much further along in development.
If it doesn’t appear at Comic-Con, we’ll likely see more from Wolverine at The Game Awards on December 12, unless Sony decides to host a State Of Play before then. Over the past couple of years, however, Sony hasn’t held any showcase after September, so Geoff Keighley’s bash is probably a safer bet.
Wolverine is set to be Insomniac’s first Marvel game outside of Spider-Man, and will take place in the same universe.
Despite the success of Call Of Duty: Mobile and Warzone on console, the battle royale’s mobile version has failed to catch on.
While Call Of Duty is famous as one of the biggest juggernauts in the modern gaming landscape, the success of Call Of Duty: Mobile is perhaps overlooked – at least in the West.
Released in 2019 and created by Chinese developer TiMi Studio Group, the team behind Arena Of Valor and Pokémon Unite, the mobile spin-off has raked in over $3 billion in lifetime revenue. According to Activision’s financial results from Q2 2023, ‘over half of all engagement’ with the Call Of Duty franchise is on mobile.
The success of Call Of Duty: Mobile led Activision to launch a mobile version of the series’ battle royale mode, Warzone, in March earlier this year, but it hasn’t fared nearly as well.
According to Stephen Totilo’s Game File newsletter, Call Of Duty: Warzone Mobile has only made $13 million in revenue within its first six months. In comparison, Call Of Duty: Mobile made $144 million within its first six months.
This tracks with the low launch numbers. As reported by PocketGamer.biz, Warzone Mobile hit $1.4 million in consumer spending within its first four days, next to Call Of Duty: Mobile’s $17.7 million in player spending within its first week.
While these numbers would be huge for most developers, in the context of Call Of Duty it is likely far below Activision’s expectations.
There are various reasons behind Warzone Mobile’s relative failure, but several games of the same ilk have struggled in recent years.
Next up is Destiny: Rising, developed by NetEase in collaboration with Bungie. It’s aiming to give the Destiny franchise a new lease of life but the recent track record suggests it’s becoming increasingly difficult to land a hit in the mobile space, between heavyweights like Candy Crush Saga and Honor Of Kings.
While the mobile market is the most profitable in the games industry, recent reports suggest it is starting to plateau. In our interview with Chinese developer Amazing Seasun Games, the executive producer behind Mecha Break outlined how the Chinese mobile market has become oversaturated, which has led to a pivot towards games for PC and console like Black Myth Wukong.
Microsoft and Sony have both made moves into the mobile market, as they both aim to broaden revenue beyond consoles. Nintendo has also released several mobile games over the years, although the majority have since been shut down.
As for Call Of Duty, the series is set to continue in the console arena with Black Ops 6, which launches on Xbox, PlayStation, and PC on October 25.
DJ and producer LP Giobbi (born Leah Chisholm) approaches music from a deeply personal place.
It extends beyond just songs and into her business ventures as label head of yes yes yes and founder of Femme House, which aims to create equitable opportunities for women (with an emphasis on BIPOC and LGBTQ+ folks) across music. Her new album, titled Dotr (“Daughter”), continues this mission, inspired by her parents growing up and notes she’d write them signed, “Love, Dotr,” with incorrect spelling. (“I was the world’s worst speller,” she jokes.)
“This album as told through the interludes, intro and outro is a lot about what it is to be a daughter, have a daughter, love a daughter,” LP tells PAPER of Dotr, out everywhere October 18 (via Ninja Tune/Counter Records). “This album was also my way of honoring some of the most important women in my life.”
Over 16 tracks, Dotr brings together a stacked lineup of guest artists, some of which are LP’s longtime friends while others are new friends: Mascolo, Danielle Ponder, Jacob Banks, Reva DeVito and more. Several songs are built around LP’s favorite samples, while others incorporate real voice notes from influential figures in her life — all rooted in the same euphoric dance music she’s become known for. Below, she breaks it all down for PAPER, track by track.
“Intro: Patricia Lynn”
My mother-in-law Patricia Lynn, who has been a second mom to me for the past 12 years, passed away last year. The first vocals you hear are from her last voice message to me on my birthday. The vocals that come in right after are from Sophie Hawley-Weld (of Sofi Tukker), who wrote me this song on my birthday as her birthday wish for me, which is a lot about returning to myself and coming home. She incorporated lyrics from Bruce Springsteen’s “Thunder Road,” as my dad and I have matching “Thunder Road” tattoos on our feet. I felt that these two vocals tie into the outro vocal really well, bookending this album perfectly. It’s an album about returning to oneself, finding “home” wherever that may be and, for me, a lot of that is wrapped around my identity as a daughter.
“Been Such a Long Time”
This track features Mascolo, who recently signed to my yes yes yes imprint. He is one of the most exciting artists I’ve ever been in a studio with. Working on this track and “So Nice to Be in Love” with him was a treat. Both were built around samples that we found and loved.
“Dancer”
“Dancer” is a declaration for the dance floor in collaboration with two of my favorite artists, Le Chev and Caroline Byrne. Caroline’s vocals glide effortlessly throughout the track and are paired beautifully with horns by Spencer Ludwig.
“Is This Love”
I had written this track with no vocal and was playing it out in a lot of my sets. I loved how beautiful the breakdowns were, contrasted with how hard the drops were. I had also been playing out Blessed Madonna and Joy Anonymous’ new track featuring Danielle Ponder. I had fallen in love with Danielle Ponder’s voice and then discovered her own original tracks through this song. I recently signed to Warner Chappell on the publishing side, and I sent this song to them to get ideas for top liners and they suggested Danielle Ponder and I freaked. We set up a session and she came into the studio. She is a force to be reckoned with. She used to be a public defender and then transitioned to music later in life. We were talking about all her bad Hinge dates and the lyrics poured out of her. She stepped up to the mic and recorded this song on the first take. The way she reinterpreted the main lyrics, weaving them in and out of jazz melodies, blew my mind. I then tapped my dear friend Natalie Grata to orchestrate strings on this track and we recorded live strings to really drive home the emotion in this track.
“Feel”
This track was built around a Jacob Banks acappella he sent me. I love working with artists and vocalists outside of the dance world (AKA Danielle Ponder, Portugal the Man, Brittany Howard), and this was another exciting opportunity to do that. Jacob’s track “Slow Up” has been on repeat in my house for years. The line, “What I’ve learned from a soldier/ Every man is a son to a daughter/ And we only remember when we see the blood,” gives me goosebumps every time. To work with him is beyond an honor. This track also has live strings orchestrated and recorded by Natalie Grata.
“Until There’s Nothing Left”
I built a dance track around Brittany Howard’s “Don’t Wanna Fight,” so I could play it in my sets because I have been obsessed with this song and Brittany for years and years. I never thought this would get to be released even though every time I played it my DMs lit up for me to release it. My managers reached out to her managers and turns out she was into the idea. I did a remix for her new album and she was down to put this track out in return. It truly blows my mind that I get her voice on this album.
“Interlude: Suse Millemann”
Suse Millemann was a dear friend of my parents. She was the only “professional musician” I knew growing up and she was a powerhouse. She died last year of Alzheimer’s and this voice note was the last thing she wrote before passing. My piano teacher also died of Alzheimer’s last year and I wanted to honor all the powerful women in my life who pointed me on this path.
“Bittersweet”
Portugal. The Man have been my favorite band since 2012 when I discovered their album In the Mountain in the Clouds. The amount of late night air guitar sessions in my kitchen to this band is countless. Last year, they reached out asking me if I was interested in remixing one of their singles. I just about passed out when I got that offer. We ended up both playing Chicago the same night last year, and I came to their show and then they came to mine and it was a relief to get to know my heroes and like them even more than I thought I would. They sent me some tunes and I fell in love with “Bittersweet” and got so excited about the track that I produced two versions of it: the main one and the rock version.
“So Nice to Be in Love”
Another one with Mascolo.
“Love Come Through”
Panama sent me this vocal and I produced a vibey track around it, and it’s a favorite in my DJ sets. Also got live strings in this one.
“Succession”
I felt this album needed an instrumental track. This is one of the first songs I sent to Natalie to add strings to and she nailed it. This is a journey — one that mixes a harder energy in the bass with a more beautiful, gentle energy in the synths and strings.
“Really Good”
I met Reva [DeVito] at my favorite place on earth: The Oregon Country Fair. I have been coming to this hippie festival since the womb with my family and will never miss it ever ever ever. I got an offer to headline it last year with my Dead House set, which was one of the greatest moments of my life. All of my family and friends were there at the place that raised me and I cried through my whole set. I was in the entertainment camp, where artists playing the festival camp, and I met Reva who was singing there. Her energy was infectious, we exchanged info and she sent me the vocal for this bop.
“Interlude: Dad to Daughter; We Say Yes”
I was with my dad at a Bob Dylan concert and he had just played “Just Like a Woman,” and I went to the bathroom and got my period for the first time. I ran out and told my parents to celebrate (I was a late bloomer), and my dad went home and wrote a poem about his daughter becoming a woman weaving in some lyrics from “Just Like a Woman.” As I get older, I realize how special it was that my dad embraced that moment. It made me embrace it, as well. I then wove in my friend’s poem about being a daughter (“We Say Yes”) in between some of his stanzas.
“Two Days Older”
My neighbor and dear friend, Madelyn, wrote this song and on a late night hang ended up playing it for me. It’s about her dear friend who took his own life. I thought it was stunning and asked her if I could record her. This song was born and again it has live strings from Natalie. I love this song as it steps outside the dance world and allowed for my “Ripple” moment (AKA a great song by the Dead).
“Carolyn”
I was in the studio trying to finish up some songs when I got the call I had been dreading for years: my piano teacher Carolyn (from second grade through graduating high school, who is the reason I am a musician) had passed away from Alzheimer’s. When I was in 10th grade, she went back to school at University of Oregon to teach herself electronic music. She didn’t own a computer, had never had a synthesizer, was the only woman in the course and the only person over 21 (she was 50). I’m sure that had a deep impact on me and my belief to start Femme House and think I can be a producer. On one of my last visits with her, I pulled out my recorder to just have her voice and her laugh immortalized should I ever need it. So the day I got the call that she had gone, I remember falling to the ground in the studio and sobbing for hours. When I was able to pick myself back up, I didn’t care about any of the music I had been working on and instead felt driven to write something in a major key (something I rarely do) because that is how she made me feel. I then went and found that lesson I recorded with us and put her vocal in the song.
“Outro: Mama, Mama, Many Worlds I’ve Gone Since I First Left Home”
It wouldn’t be an LP Giobbi album without a nod to the Grateful Dead. I spent close to 300 days on the road last year and after playing in a nightclub I find myself listening to anything but dance music on airplanes. My go-to is “Brokedown Palace” by the Grateful Dead. Every time I look out of a plane window on my way to my next gig and hear the line, “Mama, Mama many worlds I’ve gone since I first left home,” it brings me to tears and I’m not completely sure why. Maybe cause I feel like I’ve lived a million years on the road even in my short career, and most of my life is in relation to my home (my parents and the wonderful life they set out for me) and processing that is a lot. It’s wonderful and beautiful and scary and huge and overwhelming and amazing.
For Soccer Mommy – the musical project of Nashville songwriter and musician Sophie Allison — new album Evergreen was an opportunity to go back to her roots. “Honestly, I felt really good going into it,” Allison tells PAPER when asked how she felt heading into the studio for her fourth album. “Mentally I was in a good space. The album, even from the demo state felt really personal and raw, which felt different than the last album.”
Soccer Mommy’s last album, 2022’s Sometimes, Forever was less about going into the depths, seeing what was there, “figuring out myself,” as Allison explains it, adding that keeping it light was “super fun.”
“It carried a lot less weight,” she says. “This time it had a lot of weight, but I felt excited and inspired to record. I had all these ideas. The songs had so much depth, and I wanted it to be hyper-specific.” Where she typically went into the studio with an ear for experimentation, this time around, she stayed focused on what she wanted to create. “It was nice to have a particular image. I wanted to create a specific sonic world that wasn’t the most crazy, experimental thing, but I wanted to get it right.”
With this goal in mind, the itch she wanted the album to scratch was for Allison a “feeling.” “It’s a feeling I get when I’m listening to certain music. On that first day of spring, driving around listening to music with the windows down. For me that’s Emmy Lou Harris, or Lucinda Williams, or jangly ’90s dreamy music that has an airy, lifting feeling. I wanted to capture that, I wanted it to feel like just atmosphere that’s adding to the emotional weight of everything.”
You can get a sense of that feeling on “M,” as Allison’s voice climbs slowly over slow-building guitar strings, and she outlines the agony of loss, singing, “And I don’t mind spending time on a lie/ But it’s taking all I have to give.”
“It was the first song I wrote that felt like a totally different thing,” Allison says of “M,” the song that sparked the creation of the album. “It sonically felt like it was sitting in a different space from the last stuff that I was writing. I was really excited to do something clean, pretty and the opposite of what I’d just done. That song was the moment where I was like, ‘I think I see where I can take this.'”
Below, PAPER talks to Allison about Evergreen, writing songs that turn feelings into concrete expressions and how she was able to get so vulnerable four albums in.
What was it about Sometimes, Forever, from creating the album to touring it, made you want to make something more concise?
I had things happen in my life that inspired me to write about different topics. Even looking at Sometimes, Forever I was in such a different place in my life. A way more chaotic place, and I’m happy that I got a lot out of that. It’s a lot more peaceful for me [now] on a day-to-day basis. I wanted to do something simple again. [On my second album] Color Theory I was going for all of these exciting things. After [my debut] Clean, I just had so many ideas and all of this production and that was great. i wanted to take it even further for Sometimes, Forever and let these songs go into a new zone. I think at the end of the day, that’s not my bread and butter. I love making songs like that, and I’m never going to stop writing songs like that. It stimulates another part of my brain. But my true to my core songwriting is working through my thoughts and feelings and trying to get concrete expressions of what’s constantly circling over my head all the time. That brings me a lot of peace and satisfaction. I wanted to go back to that feeling of writing in my bedroom without these grand ideas of what I could do with it.
Speaking of writing, and specifically the themes of loss in a track like “M” — does that process feel cathartic or necessary?
It’s necessary. It’s something I’ve been doing since I was so young. I’m not a big talk-about-my-feelings person. I keep it very insular. That’s the way I like to process stuff, how I figure out things when I have conflicting thoughts. I think, particularly with something like loss, I just wanted to understand how I was feeling better. I wanted to say something that felt like all the things you wish you could say to someone. Also just try to sort through all of the things and find out every little bit of how I feel.
What were some of the other tracks that validated the direction you were going in?
“Some Sunny Day” and “Changes.” In the studio, they were big changes. “Changes,” I didn’t even know if I was going to put it on the record because it was older and I couldn’t imagine it differently than the demo which was just me and my guitar. It took a leap with these lush songs, and I don’t think I’ve ever done anything like that on a record before. “Some Sunny Day,” too, it feels breezy, light and it’s still grooving, it’s hitting, the drums sound amazing. It has a softness. I feels to me like sunlight, with the same kind of warmth and brightness. Those were both songs we worked on super early, where I was like “I see where we’re going with this, everything’s going to be OK.” My anxiety calmed down. I always have anxiety going in that I’ll make something and then be like, “this is not what I wanted,” but that’s never happened.
Four albums in, how are you feeling about putting Evergreen into the world, knowing that you’re doing in a different direction?
I feel nervous. I’m excited but also, release week is always… I’m always such a wreck. No matter what happens I’ll be a wreck for two days. Then I’m gonna be fine. With this album especially, because the production isn’t like the last album, with all this flash, that’s helping the songs but covering the intimacy — which was the goal. But making something so intimate and at the forefront. All the songs are just right there. There isn’t a lot of glitz to add magic to them. It’s really relying on the core of the song. It’s a little more vulnerable. If someone doesn’t like it, it’s a little knife to the heart.
Do you feel like you could’ve been this vulnerable before now? Or did it take three other albums before you could do it without the glitz?
I don’t know if I could do it before now. Really early on, I was doing demos on Bandcamp, and that was very stripped and intimate. But I think I love production so much, pop music, electronic music, and messing around with all these different genres. So I don’t think I would have consistently wanted to do something so raw before. I don’t think I would have had the consistency in my life to do that. I think there’s a lot of writing different songs at different times and throwing them on the same album. It feels good to do something straightforward and focused and not throw a wrench in the middle. It’s decisive. I don’t think I have that decisiveness most of the time, and I don’t know if I’ll have it in the future. But I have it right now.